the force awakens, but does it cook...

i've always wanted to design a dark and sultry kitchen.  with all the hoopla over the release of the new star wars movie combined with some swanky black tiles i recently saw, i thought it might be fun to fantasize about designing a kitchen fit for the dark lord himself. wwdvd?  let's take a look...

i've always been crazy about steel doors and windows, so those are going somewhere! maybe leading out to the space deck?  maybe just part of the architecture?  i think wood floors might be gentler on his knees, which surely take a beating with all the combat and cape lugging he does.  that ochre light is one of my favs and reminds me of a bunch of sperm.  perfect for the father of the year!  (inappropriate sometimes i am).  a big ass viking stove in black is perfect for cooking for the masses of storm troopers and drones. the bridge faucet by kohler reminds me a little bit of a starfighter jet, but it's also beautiful. i would definitely propose concrete countertops in charcoal and a combo of versailles mesh mirrored tile and black selvaggio tile, both from ann sacks.  sexy, sexy, sexy.  and what man doesn't want to amp up his sex appeal while making sure his soufflé doesn't flop? ;)  the selvaggio tile is somewhat reminiscent of the deathstar to me (see picture below).  of course i'm using the black malm fireplace somewhere because, well, it looks just like his helmet and that's just funny to me!  i love that dining chair from dwell.  it has that look of blasting into lightspeed that i think dinner guests would appreciate.  down on the bottom is a sconce i came across and gosh golly if it doesn't look just like, well, you know :)  lastly, more black viking appliances!!

i think darth's gonna love it.  look how comfortable he is offering a nice glass of cab?!  he just needs a fabulous place to entertain!  and hopefully this one doesn't get blown up.

may the first course be with you!!!  (i am cracking myself up ;)